he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
