well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
