I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
