It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The Olympian is in my bed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
