Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
