just tell him i said nine months
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
two words...techno handjob
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
