haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
