you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
