lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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