I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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