Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
last night I used snow as a chaser
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
