so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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