Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
