Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
