last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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