do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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