Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
