Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
