he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
