I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
