when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
