Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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