you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
