this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
