last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
