Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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