i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
