I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize