i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
