Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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