Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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