I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
