Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
