3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
