i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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