John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
