I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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