it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Text me some of your sweat
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
