His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
