I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
