Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
