idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
