youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
