i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
