Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize