brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
