He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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