I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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