i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
