Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
