Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
