The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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