8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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