I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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