In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
