Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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