Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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