Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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