How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
