that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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