I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
