He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
