just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
