this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
